I would like to begin with apologizing to every woman I’ve ever dated or any woman who saw my version of “flirting”. I didn’t realize that it was a skill practiced on the battlefield of emotions rather than just in my mind. I’m sorry, I had to make a lot of mistakes. But I never gave up. Not on myself or on Love. I couldn’t. It was what I was fighting for. Right Ron?
I love Love. That feeling of meeting someone who has all these great interests in common and these little quirks that are so cute and being able to learn about someone new. It’s exciting. That time when meeting someone when the crush and infatuation starts to form. And for me, that usually hits fast and hard (cue George Takei).
But I was slow on the up-take. Took me until college to get my first kiss and it was obviously bad. (Again, I apologize, but she’s not gonna read this anyway) Since then, I’ve learned a lot. So I put together a small list of what mistakes I made and what one should do instead.
Full disclosure…I’ve never been in a good, healthy relationship. Maybe I could have been if I just avoided these mistakes. But I cannot change the past, so onward we go!
How to NOT screw up a love life:
- Communication
Please talk to each other. Talk to your love interest, crush, loved one, significant other, etc. Whatever stage of infatuation or romance level you are at, talk. Open the lines of communication for discussion, keep things civil and honest, and for God’s sake, don’t assume anything unless you’ve asked. - ForgivenessForgive thy transgressions. Sunday school helps me out there, but
- The Little ThingsRemember to enjoy the little things. The quirks, giggles, strange noises, oddities, whatever, enjoy them because they are what make spending time together awesome.
- Avoid RoutineTo be fair, routines can be helpful for exercise, work, diet, and other things, but routine romance can get…boring. That’s not to say you can schedule activities, but try to change things a little bit to keep things going. Can’t think of what to change?
- Be open-mindedThis goes with almost all of the tips I’ve put before, but open-mindedness towards
- What is in your mind isn’t always the truth.This happens to me a lot. Why hasn’t she called? Where could they be? What do you mean you haven’t seen my message?! Yeah, that’s all just mind games your mind plays on YOU. It’s weird. But I had to learn this lesson the hard way. What you might think is happening, it probably isn’t. It’s your mind taking the worst-case scenario and trying to find ways to fight it. It’s not true. Chill.
- Take the InitiativeHere’s one I struggled with and occasionally still do. If you feel for someone, ask them out. If you think they’re interested in you, ask them. Regardless of who you are or who they are, ask them. Take the lead and do it. There will be no moving forward without this.
Guys, if you want a girl to ask you out, probably not going to happen. Socially, it’s the men who do the asking, so we gotta take the shot. HOWEVER, ladies, let’s remove this and ask guys out too. We men get rejected a lot and it wears on the self-esteem. Not always the ego, but sometimes deeper than that.
- Rejection is part of moving forwardIt hurts. I know. I’ve been rejected a LOT. But I don’t give up on love. I just know that girl wasn’t right for me right now and that’s okay. I will still sulk a bit with ice cream, but tomorrow is a new day. I fall down eight times and get up just as much. Don’t let one rejection change who you are. Find someone who will say yes.
- ENJOY IT WHILE YOU GOT IT!It’s supposed to be fun. It’s supposed to feel good. Anything less is not worth your time. You will have bad days then come home and do this:
Enjoy the HELL out of it.
And 10. Love yourself. You’re awesome.
Love the Thunderstorm 